I'm Barely Holding On
by kg534
Summary: Two people in love...like any other story. People in love leads to heartbreak, but who will do the breaking and who is left to fix themselves up again? Read it to find out!
1. I Love You

I looked at Madison from across the room. Beautiful, as usual. I smile in admiration. She never knew though. She was kind of dorky, but it was cute. I'm Lucas Johnson. I was seen as a jock. Not a captain, barely even made it on the team. I play football, I know cliché. A guy who likes a girl, a girl who doesn't get attention. Same old same old. There is a catch. I don't talk to her, text her, call her, we were just friends as kids. There isnt much history. Just some teenagers who were friends as kids. That's it. Not meaning to brag, but A LOT of girls like me. It's annoying. When I get to now her, she'll fall for me in seconds flat!

After class, I decided to talk to her. "Hey there," I said as my hands were shaking. "Not interested," she said as she kept walking. "What?" I asked. She stopped and slowly turned around," Not interested. You know a phrase that says go away. I don't like you. N-O-T I-N-" I stopped her. "I know how to spell not interested and what are you talking about?"I asked. "I'm not falling for your stupid tricks. You just want to copy my homework. The answer is no. I don't want to help a guy who can't understand 2+2," She said rolling her eyes. "I have all A's excuse you," I said. "Congrats," She said sarcastically. "Wait, Madison. I don't want your homework. I was just trying to start a conversation," I said smiling hoping she would turn back. "Listen, Lucas. I'm not interested," She said turning around once again. It was time for football practice… great.

I showed up in my uniform. The uniform was giant. I was scrawny compared to the other guys. One of my best friends nudged me," Are you trying to get to copy homework with Madison Carson?" I looked confused. Then it hit me, he saw me talking to Madison. "What? No. I was just trying to talk to her," I answered. "Why would you talk to HER?" He asked. He emphasized her a lot more than he needed to. "I was just talking to her, now shut up before you get us both kicked off the team," I said pushing him around. Miles was just the water boy. The practice was awful. I couldn't stop thinking about what Madison said. I felt bad. It wasn't my fault she's ignorant.

I flopped onto my bed. I was exausted. Not just of football practice, but it was because of what Madison said. I tried to set up a plan for the next day. You know those plans that you write that you know will never work out at all? Yeah it was one of those plans. I still made it though.

The next day, I went to school pretty confident. I went up to Madison once more. "Hey, Madison I was thinking we can hang out at the park like old times," I said smiling big. "I have to study. Something you don't hav to do these days," She said pushing up her glasses a bit. I laughed a little. "What? You wanted a different answer? What more do you want from me?" She asked. I was overwhelmed by her questions. "I-I don't know. I just wanted to hang out again," I said. "Lucas, we aren't in Kindergarten anymore. We are seniors. Now stop wasting your time on me," She said slamming her locker shut and walking away. "W-What?" I said stammering," I don't want anything from you." She turned around. "What do you want then? Why are you talking to me?" She asked. "I-I-It's dumb. You wouldn't understand," I said turning around. "I'm free tomorrow night," She said and she walked away. I looked


	2. I Miss You

I looked back and saw that she had already turned the corner to go to class. I did a small 'yes' to myself and kept walking.

MADISON'S POV

I've always liked Lukas. He's just an amazing guy. Well he WAS until he just kind of left me for his guy friends. It's okay though because I get to go back to the park with him.

It was the day! I put on a baggy t-shirt with some ripped jeans and adidas. I got in my car and drove there. I noticed I was a little bit late, but good news: he was still there.

"Hey Luke," I said to Luke. "Hey Mads," He said smiling. "Is there something going on? You're smiling….more than usual," I said with a small giggle. "It's just I like you… a lot and I just didn't think I could ever get a chance for this," He said. Wait…..he likes me? "Luke, I like you….a lot too," I said smiling wide. "I love that smile," He said as he grabbed my hand. We went over to the stairs of the playground with our hands intertwined. "The stars are prettiest here," I said looking up. "Not was beautiful as you," He said. "Do you really think that? That I'm p-pretty? That I'm worth something?" I asked. "If I had to pay everything for a moment like this, I'd be bankrupt," He said. He put one hand behind my waist and the other still tangled in mine. He pulled me close and kissed me. It was sweet and soft. He was gentle. I put one hand around his neck and started to play with his hair. We never broke our kiss. We couldn't get enough. We then stopped holding hands just so we could hold each other closer. My legs wrapped around his legs as we sat on the playground stairs. Both of my hands were around his neck. One hand played with his hair and the other held him closer. He had both of his hands were around my waist pulling me closer and closer until there was no space in between us. My legs wrapped around his waist tighter. We parted our kiss and I said," I love you, Luke." He smiled. "I love you more Mads," He said. I grabbed his hoodie and slammed my lips on his. This kiss was more passionate. This time his hands were playing with my hair. I kept my hands on his neck. Finally, we parted. He took off his hoodie and put it on me. When my head came out of the neck hole he smiled and kissed my cheek. "You missed," I said as I gave him one small kiss on the lips. We hugged each other. We hugged each other as my legs were still wrapped around his waist. I never wanted to let go. Tears rolled down my face. This is the last time. The last time I hold him. "Luke, I'm sorry, but I have to tell you something." He smiled at me. "Anything my beautiful princess." The words killed me. They stabbed me in the chest making it harder to say what I needed to. "I-I-I'm d-d-dying…" I said. His face dropped. "What?" He asked. "I-I'm sorry… I have a internal disease to the point that I'm dying each day," I answer. "he cupped my face with his hands," No, princess you can't die." He wiped my tears. "I am Luke. I'm so sorry. Please don't let this end on a bad note," I said sobbing. "It won't end on a bad not and I promise that," He said. He grabbed my hand," I'm not letting go of you until your last breath comes and longer." I smiled. "No, Luke. I'm practically already gone. Don't wait up on me please. I love you too much," I said. "I'm staying by you until your last breath, your last heartbeat, your last words," He said. I gave him a hug. He took me to the hospital. I sat on the bed with the breathing contraption around my head and through my nose.

LUKAS'S POV

I grabbed her hand. It was so weak that she couldn't squeeze it. The doctor came in. He frowned and said," A few hours left ." She broke down right there. "My life is a mess. I don't want this life. I don't want the constant pain I go through daily. I want a life with you and where I can love without the fear of leaving someone heartbroken," She said. I sat in the hospital bed next to her. "It's gonna be ok. I will be heartbroken, but I don't want you in pain," I said. She slowly looked at me and had a soft smile. "My pain is nothing compared to not being with you," She said. The doctor came back. "Ms. Carson…it's time," The doctor said sadly. My heart dropped. I kissed Madison quickly. It wasn't enough, but it also was. "Mads," I said. She looked back weakly. Her eyes were lifeless and her face was pale. "Y-Yes, Luke?" She answered. "I love you…" I said. "I…love…you…more…don't…wait…up…on…me…." She answered. She walked into the room the doctor led her into. Tears rolled down. Those were her last words… I miss her. The funeral was sad and lifeless. I sat in the front row. It was time for my speech. It sounded like this:

Madison wouldn't want us sad. She wants us to know that the pain is gone. She was the best thing in my life. I wished I had longer with her. Her hugs were comforting and when we held hands, my face would light up. She gave me a lifetime worth of memories in a night. I love her more than anything. We are all mourning, but we will be okay. She doesn't want us to wait up on her. She's happy where she is. She is an angel who is shy, but if you know her, she is the most amazing girl in the world. I love her. Thank you, Madison. Thank you for a night I won't ever forget…

Madison had written a note to me because she knew she was dying. This was the night before the night we hung out. It read:

My lungs have given out. My heart has stopped beating. My life is gone. I want to say thank you. Thank you for everything… I'm missing you. If angels can come down to people, I would come down to you. I would reassure you about everything. I love you, Lukas. Thank you again….

I missed her….she's an angel. A perfect fit for an angel… she was just called home too early…


End file.
